Tanner Lee's Baby Dedication

Tanner on the screen....

During the dedication...

Our family with Our pastor, Steve Stoltzfus

We are SOOOO thankful to all of our families who came to witness Tanner's baby dedication. It was a wonderful day and my mom cooked an amazing meal for everyone to eat together after the service. It's not always easy to "return" our child back to God, but they are His anyway, and I just love the account of Hannah (in 1 Samuel) of how she prayed for a son and then dedicated him to the service of the Lord. That is my prayer today too! I sure love my sweet Tanner Lee Plank, but I know Jesus loves him MORE!

The Trap

If I'm not reading my Bible and praying regularly, I am also not going to be a very loving Momma and very respectful to my Hubby, but I might harbor pride and make everyone else think I'm alright. Beware of this trap! It will not bring joy, contentment or peace. The opposite is true- being closely connected to Jesus as my first priority will help me be the woman I need to be in the home, and I can still be real with others about my struggles/victories. If this is so practical, why do so many live in the trap?

Our Plans & Waiting...

So today is TUESDAY. I know you know that, but today was the day I've been waiting for. The day we had some questions getting answered. I've trusted, hoped and prayed about today. I've grinned at Andy before falling asleep at night, saying- "Are you excited about Tuesday?" God has laid dreams on our hearts, and today we were going to figured out whether to keep those dreams alive or move on....TODAY. are you getting my point that TODAY was THE day!? (Many of you know that my husband & I have felt for quite some time, that military life was not for us anymore. As the job comes to a close, the "what's next?" question looms over us like a giant mystery.)
So this morning, I woke up from a scary bad dream this morning to see Andy sitting on the edge of the bed checking messages. "What's up?" I asked, not sure I wanted to know. "Plans have changed." No, I didn't want to know. and yet I did. "What do you mean!!?!?!?" I try to calm the frustration threatening to choke me before I even know what he is talking about. "We are going to have to wait until another time to get some questions answered." He said that- so calmly. He calmly walked out of the room. He calmly went downstairs to make coffee. He was...CALM.

I was NOT. I waited for today. I prayed about today. I was patient for TODAY. Anther day was NOT ok. Hot tears streamed down my face. I knew I need to sit down and pray about this, and keep trusting that it was ok- that God knew all about it. I knew God could handle my venting, so I began to tell Him how I needed it all to change back today, since I needed some direction, some answers, something to plan on TODAY- not some day in the future...when I eventually got to the part in my prayer where I needed to say, "I want YOUR will not mine.."
I started to feel a little foolish. I did sit down. I did grab my Bible. I heard God prompt me to look up "plans" in my Bible's concordance. You know, in the back on your Bible where there are subtitles and then phrases from the Bible with that word in it, and a scripture reference to look it up. The only one that popped out at me was one that I wasn't sure what book of the Bible they were referring to because it said "Jas 4." What book was "Jas"??? It annoyed me and made me curious all at the same time. I'm still muttering how disgusting this change of plans is as I look through the Bible and decide the reference must be for James. And then I began to read...(oh my!)
James 4:13-17- "Look here, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit.” How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.” Otherwise you are boasting about your own plans, and all such boasting is evil. Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.
"
Wow. I was acting as though I wanted God's plan for my week, but when plans changed, how quickly I lost sight of who was planning what! Yeah, humanly, I'm still disappointing that plans have changed for my day, but I am now confident that God has a different plan, and that looking back on it, I will point to today as a fork in the road, and be glad I chose (once again) to trust and wait on God for HIS timing and purpose in our lives.

Breaking News!

(For those of you not on Facebook), I can hardly believe I get to share this overwhelmingly exciting news with you, but here goes- through a VERY long story, much prayer, and some kindness on an officer's part, I am relieved to say that my husband is NOT deploying this fall. (He did not try to "get out" of the deployment...but God has a different plan for us it seems!) No complaints from this happy wife! :)

Here We Go Again...

Andy found out yesterday that he will be deploying in a few shorts weeks. He will be gone a year.

In a way, this feels like Déjà vu of 2007, leading up to Andy's first deployment. 

At first, the news hardly sinks it. It feels like you are talking about another family or something. Then the emotions hit, and you start realizing how all the plans that were made for next year, have to be put on hold...there will be special holidays, birthdays and events that seem unbearable to miss. After the first waves of emotions hit, the realization sets in, and there is a deep-settled peace that all will be fine. 

God is in control. None of this news surprised Him, and He has a beautiful plan for it all. This is what will help us survive the next long year. This will fuel us on with strength and wisdom to make the decisions necessary to do what we need to do in the short time before Andy leaves. 

We certainly appreciate all the prayers and words of encouragement we have received already. We are not alone, and we will grow stronger through the next 14 months, I'm sure!

A Child Shall Lead Them...

        I have had a difficult couple of weeks with Clayton's overall behavior. He plays well with his sister, he is quiet and kind when he is supposed to be, but if something doesn't go his way, especially away from home, he becomes hard to manage. He had a hard time sharing in his class at church, he was disrespectful to me when I would transition him from an activity he enjoyed to something else, like eating lunch, and he got carried away far too often in a store or restaurant. 

        I typically do not always like to just classify behaviors (good or bad) into a "stage" mentality. 

Over the last couple weeks, I have cried and prayed for this boy and tried to take a step back to reflect on "What has my behavior and attitudes been like lately? Have I modeled patience, kindness, and love in my home, especially when things don't go how I've wanted them to?" As I have reflected, I honestly felt like I have grown in these areas, and that my behaviors were not necessarily contributing to Clayton's negative actions. I just wanted to try to pinpoint what was going on inside of that 4-year old brain and heart. 

      I admit, I have not always responded the best ways to his outbursts of disrespect and disregard for my rules/expectations. I have been tempted to ignore the incidents, since it is easier to ignore than deal with it. 

I was also tempted to leave it for Daddy at the end of the day, but how well I know that to do this, makes for a long day to a child with little to no cause to look forward to Daddy coming home from work at the end of the day. I was tempted to bribe, since this is a method that has gotten me "my way" with the kids before. 

     In all of these temptations however, I kept getting convicted that I was trying to "treat the outward symptoms rather than do the heart surgery required." -(Shepherding a Child's Heart)

     I sat Clayton down and asked him a lot of questions about how he was feeling. I always trying to take the time to talk with him after the variety of disciplines he received lately. I did my best to remind him that I do not like to cause him pain and that I love him so very much and just want him to obey and respect me quickly, because that's what God expects of us. Many times, Clayton would be moved to tears and say that he loved me. I reminded him as God reminds me, "If you love me, you will obey me. (keep my commandments.)" John 14:15 

   It's been hard to tell if I was doing any better at being consistent, or if Clayton was grasping what I have been trying to teach him. That is, until last night at bed time. Clayton always says the same thing each night, "Dear Jesus, please help my family sleep good tonight. In Jesus' name, Amen." However, after I prayed a simple prayer over him, to this effect- "Father God, I pray that You would help Clayton to make good choices tomorrow. Help him to obey and respect quickly like You have asked me to do. I know You can help him to remember to do what is right. Help him to sleep well, and wake up to a new start tomorrow....Amen." Clayton was very quiet, then he prayed, "Dear Jesus, I'm very sorry. Help the sin to stay far away from my heart, so my heart can be clean again."

     This simple, heart-felt prayer brought tears to my eyes, and joy to this mommy-heart, and hope that the Holy Spirit did a real work in Clayton's heart once again; a work that all my best attempts at teaching could not ultimately accomplish. It was a humbling reminder that "I planted, others watered, but it was God that gave the increase, the growth." I Corinthians 3:6

    When I am tempted to do things in my own strength, I am reminded- It is God that causes growth, and victories and prayers to be answered. I must simply obey and respect quickly & what God and His word shows me to do, and then leave the rest in His capable hands.