This week has been mentally overwhelming for me as I've tried to juggle too many hats. I hear the Holy Spirit gently calling, "I know you are in over your head, so spend more time with ME!" I know I have not been "myself", (whatever that is), and I know I have not managed to get caught up with the ever growing mound of laundry and dishes which are also calling my name...or is that Andy and Clayton asking where their socks and underwear are!?
I don't know if you can relate to me or not, but with extra busyness comes extra exhaustion, both mental and physical. I am learning to be flexible, but there are some moments that I wish there was a "reset" button to start over and do things the way I know I should do them.
I know I should have spent each morning with God first thing, rather than fit Him in around the schedule.
I know I should have exercised on my off days so I wouldn't be so rusty in the next class.
I know I should have investigated the origin of the crash before coming at the kids guns blazing.
I know I should have thought about the idea Andy shared rather than jump to conclusions and burst his bubble at my "realistic wisdom."
I know I should have eaten more carefully and not let emotion guide my food choices/portions.
I know, I know, I know.....but I don't always do what I know to do. I'm glad the Apostle Paul said in Romans 7 that even he struggled with doing what he knew to do. I know we are not always going to get it right. What counts is what we do with the battle once we realize we are in one. There are a several options:
1. Give up and feel like "Why try, I'm never going to get it right anyway!" (pity-party)
2. Do your best to work hard and correct the places you've failed. (rely on your own strength)
3. Throw it in God's lap and repent of the faults, and let Him carry it from there. (full surrender)
I know what I want to choose. When we throw it on God's lap and surrender, and HE works it all out, it's awesome to know that I can't take any of the credit.