A Piece of the Puzzle

WARNING: personal admission to follow-
A friend just text me about a very difficult circumstance in her life. When she mentioned the words, "I'm just so tired of fighting to get ahead and fighting for everything I've got", it felt like instant deja vu to a conversation I had with my pastor some time ago. I was telling him that I was "so sick of striving." He said, "Well then stop. Stop striving. Stop fighting. Rest. Ask God to do the work that you feel so driven to do & then take your hands off and see what happens." I can tell you with tears in my eyes, that I did not take that wisdom well. It is not easy to be told to step away from something you feel the need to control. Little did I know that nothing, and I mean nothing would improve until I followed that simply yet profound advice. James MacDonald recently posted: "Until Christ reigns without rival on the throne of your heart, you are an accident waiting to happen." Boy is that true. Certainly in my own life, at least. I have no idea how many people I have pushed away, hurt, or confused by my inability to see myself as I should have. I have tried to mend bridges I believed were burnt. Many situations have moved on with or without me. This has to be ok. When we grapple for control, the most loving thing God can do is take away the object of your idolatry. For a while, I thought this as cruel. Why would my Jesus stomp on my passions? Now I can see more clearly. Jesus wants to guide my life. Left alone, I will make a mess of things, even if it doesn't seem like it for a while. Another dear friend told me that "in the surrender is where Christ gets to flex His muscles." I love that. I will admit I don't really "get" grace. It's easier to strive, fight and work. But Jesus says Rest. Hands off. Lay it down. I hope this is helpful to someone in over your head today. Blessings.

Extreme Makeover *Heart* Edition

I recently invited someone to come over to the house to help me sort through clutter, and I laughed that, "left to myself, I'd never let anything go." It's true of the clutter in my house, and God gently reminded me today that it's also true of the clutter of my heart! Household clutter has sentimental value to me, but getting rid of it does not mean I am throwing the memory away, but it does mean there is more room for the important things to shine...Heart clutter has roots in bitterness, forgiveness and pride. Getting rid of that clutter does not mean that justice is served or that things will go the way I "want", but it does mean that there is that much more room for the right things to find "new homes." Just as my house needs a good spring cleaning, so my heart need Jesus to clean the cobwebs of my heart so HIS truth can sparkle through me!

The Question I Stopped Asking My Daughter...

There's one question that I've asked my young daughter, Sadie, since the time she could respond with understandable words...My motives were to let her know how beautiful I thought she was, but I started realizing just last week that the opposite was actually at risk in her mind. Oh My!
Oh, you were waiting for the question. It's simple this:

"DID ANYONE THINK YOU LOOKED PRETTY TODAY?"

Seems harmless, right? WRONG. I began to realize that when I asked this question, it made my 4-year old stop to think through her day at preschool, church or play-date and specifically try to recall if anyone made ANY comments about her hair, dress, sparkly shoes etc. If no such recollections existed, she would look at the floor and say, "No. No one thought I looked pretty today."

You see, I ALWAYS think my sweet pea is gorgeous. She is so beautiful inside and out. She has a go-with-the-flow personality (most days). She sings all.the.time. She dances on every surface available. She has sparkly eyes that just glow with laughter or drown you in her pity-parties. She is smart, super funny, compassionate and has such an eye for sparkles, glitter & all things leopard! :) This is what I see and know with my mommy heart.

When I ask that question that I previously mentioned, if the answer is "no", she thinks she is NOT all of the wonderful things she IS. What a shame!!!

How many times have I tortured myself with this question or similar!?
If I get home from church, lunch with a friend, or a meeting and realize no one mentioned my flawless fashion sense, then somehow my fashion must have been "off" that day, which would get me to thinking that maybe they didn't like me all. What in the world!? Did I just say that or even think that!?

My identity must not be in my fashion or people's comments, opinions or even beliefs of what makes "me." The truth is- We are each loved, chosen, fearfully & wonderfully made in the image of God, our Father.(Psalm 139:14) He makes no mistakes and He loves each of us so dearly.
THIS is the message I want to ingrain in Sadie's tender mind. When we stop believing the lies of this culture- that thin is in. That blue eyes & blond hair are best. That I must wear all things chevron or those equestrian boots that everybody has....and realize that even if these made up "beautiful"- I simply couldn't keep up anyway and that is OK!!!

Oh how I long to imprint these truths on the minds of the whole section of young girls who sit on the front rows of my church. I remember well being a young teenager- the nervous bundle of frizzy hair and acne that made me want to shrink with intimidation when the "pretty" girls walked in the room. "How in the world would the cute boy ever notice me when there's "HER"...?" Of course, there is something to be said for a pretty face. God made us all that way. But what about aiming to be a girl who exudes joy to everyone around her? What about being gracious, kind & plain ole FUN!? Most boys would rather be around (and later date/marry) a girl who is confident in who she is than be stuck with a bossy, high-maintenance girl who is pretty but mean. TRUTH!

So take heart girls! Don't be so hard on yourself! You do NOT have to have it all....just be YOU! God is not calling you to be the winner in the beauty pageant. He is just leading you to be a the godly, kind, caring girl that looks outside yourself to see the girl who is hurting to encourage. Maybe you could resist a bit of the peer pressure to be a light who radiates the love of Jesus!!! Think about it. No need to do a 360*. You don't want to freak your friends out! :) Just start small.

Get Growing

Have you ever asked a question, knowing full well what the answer was, but hoping if you asked it anyway, that somehow the answer just might be different this time!? Yeah, me too. I was telling my husband, "I see growth in so many areas, and yet in this one area, there is a glaring lack of growth. I've seen huge spurts of growth there before, but now it's just dead and lifeless. Do you ever feel that way?" He says- of course. So here comes the question... "So what do I do about that one area???" Andy's profound response- "Do what you know you need to do to fix that area, and grow." Bummer. That's what I was afraid of. Guess it's time to go work out, feel like it or not...

Growing in the Fruits

As I watched a sermon by Andy Stanley this week, I was intrigued as he taught on law-thinking versus grace-thinking. He gave examples of how they were different...For example, we take a look at the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians (-Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self-Control). Law-thinking says, (with ALL sincerity), "God I want these fruits in my life, so please help me to be more patient, more loving, more at peace..." I have to admit, at this point, I was thinking, "what's wrong with that??" He went on to explain that Grace-thinking says, "God, I know I am hopeless without you. Please work in my life and shine through me. I know I can do nothing without you already doing the work." At the end of the week this person reflects on his week, and is amazed and says, "God, thank YOU for working in my life. I realize that you made me more patient this week then I've been in a long time. I realize you created a love inside of me for people that wasn't there before. I have felt at peace without realizing it..... See the difference? The law-thinker struggles and strives to DO something for God and ends up more stressed and begging God for more strength. The grace-thinker already knows he has nothing to offer but submission to God's plan. He rolls it all onto Jesus and (this is the big part) Lets.It.There. When we get to the end of ourselves, and cry out to God saying, "God, I can't do this any more. I can't handle any more." God, in His loving patience say, "My Child! I KNOW you can't. I've been waiting for you to realize this. NOW, I can work in your life."

This has been swirling around in my head all week. I hope it's something for you to ponder and challenge you as it certainly has me!!! Blessings.

Election Day '12

The kids were an instrumental part of helping Mommy vote today. :)

Clayton was fascinated by all the new words he had never heard of. Some of his great questions included: "What does vote mean? What is the president? What does country mean? What does election day mean?" I was thrilled to explain!!! :)

Concept vs. Reality

 I have heard so many messages preached on a loving God as well as messages preached on a God of wrath. Both characteristics are true. So often, however, I hear of people being confused by the reality of God when they put their on concepts into place. I have to admit, I do this as well.
For example: if we look at the doctrine of the elect (2 Timothy 1:9, 10, Ephesians 1:4-5, Romans 9). Some would say that it is unfair that a loving God would choose some people for eternal life and some would never hear the call of God at all. In this particular debate, the problem does not lie with whether it is scriptural or not, but it lies with our concept of "FAIR." We think loving & fair are as we know it on earth-our justice system, our beliefs of right and wrong, our convictions or lack of on what people should and should not do. When we come up against a subject that does not fit with OUR concept, we doubt everything we know to be absolute truth. We project what we think onto what God does or doesn't do, and we think somehow we are the right one.
The same goes for when someone dies of cancer, or a child is lost, or someone we love leaves this earth before we think it's their time. We don't always understand God's timing and His ultimate plan in everything.
We have to think back to the basics in all of these hard issues.
What do we KNOW to be true of God?
God IS  LOVE
God IS HOLY
God IS JUST
God IS SOVEREIGN
God IS. 
Since we know these attributes to be absolutely true, we must adjust OUR concepts of what we THINK those qualities should look like to the reality of what they really are. For instance, is God fair even when I don't get MY way? Yes, because someone else did. Is God just even when He blesses something that I do not approve of? Yes, because I do not know the whole plan of God. We must believe that God is sovereign and has an ultimate plan to work all thing together for good for those who love God and are called according to HIS purpose. (Romans 8:28).
 I hear people praise God when something they've desperately been praying about is answered in a favorable way. They say, "Sally has been healed of cancer. God is so good!" Yes, that is so true. But if Sally had died from her cancer, wouldn't God has still been good?! We forget the absolute truths because we are fallen. We are human, and this always gets in the way of see the full reality of God. (1Corinthians 2 says this very thing!)
God is altogether "other" than us. We are stamped with His image, but do not be mistaken to think that God is like US...not at all! We are becoming like HIM as we grow in God's holiness and are being sanctified, but we cannot understand all that is in Heaven, because unlike God, we are finite. We have fragile minds that could not comprehend God's full purpose even if He did choose to reveal it to us. That is why we have faith in someOne greater than ourselves. That is why we cling to hope of more than we are.

 Also, scripture says this in Isaiah 55:8 ^"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord"

This song illustrates these thoughts of mine so well.