A Piece of the Puzzle

WARNING: personal admission to follow-
A friend just text me about a very difficult circumstance in her life. When she mentioned the words, "I'm just so tired of fighting to get ahead and fighting for everything I've got", it felt like instant deja vu to a conversation I had with my pastor some time ago. I was telling him that I was "so sick of striving." He said, "Well then stop. Stop striving. Stop fighting. Rest. Ask God to do the work that you feel so driven to do & then take your hands off and see what happens." I can tell you with tears in my eyes, that I did not take that wisdom well. It is not easy to be told to step away from something you feel the need to control. Little did I know that nothing, and I mean nothing would improve until I followed that simply yet profound advice. James MacDonald recently posted: "Until Christ reigns without rival on the throne of your heart, you are an accident waiting to happen." Boy is that true. Certainly in my own life, at least. I have no idea how many people I have pushed away, hurt, or confused by my inability to see myself as I should have. I have tried to mend bridges I believed were burnt. Many situations have moved on with or without me. This has to be ok. When we grapple for control, the most loving thing God can do is take away the object of your idolatry. For a while, I thought this as cruel. Why would my Jesus stomp on my passions? Now I can see more clearly. Jesus wants to guide my life. Left alone, I will make a mess of things, even if it doesn't seem like it for a while. Another dear friend told me that "in the surrender is where Christ gets to flex His muscles." I love that. I will admit I don't really "get" grace. It's easier to strive, fight and work. But Jesus says Rest. Hands off. Lay it down. I hope this is helpful to someone in over your head today. Blessings.

The Hands & Feet of Jesus (Happening Tonight)

The last kid is in bed,
In exhaustion I hang my head.
If crying would help I would,
I feel lost, lonely, misunderstood.

Then I hear a knock at the door.
Who would be knocking now?
I don't want to answer. I'd rather hide.
My house is messy inside.

I turn on the light, flip the lock to see who's there...
and there is a couple with a box of blessing to share.
Love in their eyes, joy on each face
to be giving, loving, serving with grace.

I don't know what to say,
To be reminded at the very end of my day-
That people care, people remember,
That at least through the week, I have to play "single mom" through December.

I cry. I vent. My "thanks" sounds so small.
The hands and feet of Jesus is shown despite my thick wall.
Why try to be strong? When all along,
Jesus WILL show up in the most unsuspecting ways when we need it most!

Growing in the Fruits

As I watched a sermon by Andy Stanley this week, I was intrigued as he taught on law-thinking versus grace-thinking. He gave examples of how they were different...For example, we take a look at the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians (-Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self-Control). Law-thinking says, (with ALL sincerity), "God I want these fruits in my life, so please help me to be more patient, more loving, more at peace..." I have to admit, at this point, I was thinking, "what's wrong with that??" He went on to explain that Grace-thinking says, "God, I know I am hopeless without you. Please work in my life and shine through me. I know I can do nothing without you already doing the work." At the end of the week this person reflects on his week, and is amazed and says, "God, thank YOU for working in my life. I realize that you made me more patient this week then I've been in a long time. I realize you created a love inside of me for people that wasn't there before. I have felt at peace without realizing it..... See the difference? The law-thinker struggles and strives to DO something for God and ends up more stressed and begging God for more strength. The grace-thinker already knows he has nothing to offer but submission to God's plan. He rolls it all onto Jesus and (this is the big part) Lets.It.There. When we get to the end of ourselves, and cry out to God saying, "God, I can't do this any more. I can't handle any more." God, in His loving patience say, "My Child! I KNOW you can't. I've been waiting for you to realize this. NOW, I can work in your life."

This has been swirling around in my head all week. I hope it's something for you to ponder and challenge you as it certainly has me!!! Blessings.

For Undecided Voters...What is your world view?

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/52088685/10-21-12.mp3 This is an excellent message to help you figure out "What is my world view?" and what to do about it!

A Child Shall Lead Them...

        I have had a difficult couple of weeks with Clayton's overall behavior. He plays well with his sister, he is quiet and kind when he is supposed to be, but if something doesn't go his way, especially away from home, he becomes hard to manage. He had a hard time sharing in his class at church, he was disrespectful to me when I would transition him from an activity he enjoyed to something else, like eating lunch, and he got carried away far too often in a store or restaurant. 

        I typically do not always like to just classify behaviors (good or bad) into a "stage" mentality. 

Over the last couple weeks, I have cried and prayed for this boy and tried to take a step back to reflect on "What has my behavior and attitudes been like lately? Have I modeled patience, kindness, and love in my home, especially when things don't go how I've wanted them to?" As I have reflected, I honestly felt like I have grown in these areas, and that my behaviors were not necessarily contributing to Clayton's negative actions. I just wanted to try to pinpoint what was going on inside of that 4-year old brain and heart. 

      I admit, I have not always responded the best ways to his outbursts of disrespect and disregard for my rules/expectations. I have been tempted to ignore the incidents, since it is easier to ignore than deal with it. 

I was also tempted to leave it for Daddy at the end of the day, but how well I know that to do this, makes for a long day to a child with little to no cause to look forward to Daddy coming home from work at the end of the day. I was tempted to bribe, since this is a method that has gotten me "my way" with the kids before. 

     In all of these temptations however, I kept getting convicted that I was trying to "treat the outward symptoms rather than do the heart surgery required." -(Shepherding a Child's Heart)

     I sat Clayton down and asked him a lot of questions about how he was feeling. I always trying to take the time to talk with him after the variety of disciplines he received lately. I did my best to remind him that I do not like to cause him pain and that I love him so very much and just want him to obey and respect me quickly, because that's what God expects of us. Many times, Clayton would be moved to tears and say that he loved me. I reminded him as God reminds me, "If you love me, you will obey me. (keep my commandments.)" John 14:15 

   It's been hard to tell if I was doing any better at being consistent, or if Clayton was grasping what I have been trying to teach him. That is, until last night at bed time. Clayton always says the same thing each night, "Dear Jesus, please help my family sleep good tonight. In Jesus' name, Amen." However, after I prayed a simple prayer over him, to this effect- "Father God, I pray that You would help Clayton to make good choices tomorrow. Help him to obey and respect quickly like You have asked me to do. I know You can help him to remember to do what is right. Help him to sleep well, and wake up to a new start tomorrow....Amen." Clayton was very quiet, then he prayed, "Dear Jesus, I'm very sorry. Help the sin to stay far away from my heart, so my heart can be clean again."

     This simple, heart-felt prayer brought tears to my eyes, and joy to this mommy-heart, and hope that the Holy Spirit did a real work in Clayton's heart once again; a work that all my best attempts at teaching could not ultimately accomplish. It was a humbling reminder that "I planted, others watered, but it was God that gave the increase, the growth." I Corinthians 3:6

    When I am tempted to do things in my own strength, I am reminded- It is God that causes growth, and victories and prayers to be answered. I must simply obey and respect quickly & what God and His word shows me to do, and then leave the rest in His capable hands.

He Is....

The Only Thing That's Good In Me

This song has been on my mind non-stop all weekend. When we put people on a "pedestal", we forget that they are just human, people like every one of us. If we start to compare and wish we were like so-in-so or wish we had accomplished as much as someone else, we are forgetting that it is God who even gave those people the ability to succeed at their given talent. On the other hand, if I feel like I am better than anyone else- whether smarter, more talented, more.............I again have forgotten that all the ways I've been blessed are still no credit to me. It is Jesus that gives and takes away. It's Jesus that is good, inspiring, gifted, successful, blessed- working through us.

Of course, it's easier to compare ourselves to other people rather to Jesus. I need draw the circle around myself and see where I so desperately need to improve and grow. When compared to other people, I may fare pretty well. When I compare strengths with Jesus and His Word, I see how pathetically far short I fall of His holiness and perfection.
Jeremiah 9:24 "Let him who boasts, boast in this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am The Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things, I delight, declares the Lord."

It Never Fails

Knowing vs Doing

Faulty Change Plan # 6 James MacDonald, Senior Pastor of Harvest Bible Chapel 21So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. 22For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, 23but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. - Romans 7:21-23 The last of the faulty strategies for change that influences believers is what we call the intellectual change plan. Paul talks about this in Romans 7:21 (above). He basically admits, “In my mind, I want to do right, but I don’t do it. I can think about the changes that are necessary, but I can’t think my way to them.” That’s Paul's review of the failure of intellectual change. Many people feel this way. “Why did I do that?” “Why did I say that?” “Why am I like that?” And then they always say this, “I know better, but I still do it. I know it’s going to hurt. I know I’m going to get upset. I know I’m going to be frustrated, but I still do it even though I know better.” That’s why we focus upon accountability in our Small Groups, because we want to keep the emphasis on change under God’s plan, not ours. Small Groups are not legalistic huddles or monastic experiments in the modern world—nor are they intellectual work-outs so we can display our “spiritual abs.” We participate in attentive Bible study, knowing that we do need to learn the Word. And we need to grow in our understanding. But information is not the ultimate answer. No one’s going to explain something to you and then it’s going to turn the key. Information doesn’t unlock change. It’s not the truth as an idea that sets you free; it’s Truth as the person of Jesus Christ, living in you, that sets you free! Paul said, I have this law in my mind, but there’s a problem: knowing is not enough. And he agonizes over the problem in Romans 7:24, “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?” If we follow along Paul’s argument, we’re right with him at this point. The means for change have been weighed and found wanting. We realize that even at our most insightful and sincere, our efforts to change will fall short. We will cry with Paul, “Who will deliver us from this deadly mess?” God made sure Paul didn’t leave us hanging with the question. There is a way out. There is The Way out; Jesus Christ! We can feel Paul’s relief and hope as he declares, “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Romans 7:25a). The way of real change always takes us through Jesus Christ. Journal: How have I discovered the limitations that come when I try to think my way into spiritual maturity and change? Is loving God with my mind (Mark 12:30) something I can do un-aided, or must I rely on the Holy Spirit even for this basic step of obedience? Why? Prayer: Heavenly Father, You have given me an amazing mind and allowed me to use it as part of my wholehearted response to You in love. Forgive me when I forget that my mind is limited by power, distractions, and sin to the point that any meaningful change, even in the way I think, must come from You. Thank You for showing Yourself ready and willing to heal and guide the way I think! In Jesus’ name, Amen. ~~~~~~~~~~ Kara here again. Not sure why this post wouldn't let me write BEFORE the devotional from James MacDonald....what I wanted to write was this: think of your struggle/addiction/idol, (whatever you choose to call it) as you read this article. For me, it's dealing with food and all of its temptations. (eating it, thinking about it, serving it etc) I know what I SHOULD eat, and don't always follow through. This devotional was like fresh wind to my tired sails today. Power of Food Quiz (Dr. Oz)

Prayer Revisited

I was reading Ann Voskamp's blog today. I wanted to share some of her thoughts (as well as add a few of my own thoughts) about prayer.

Martin Luther prayed about 2 hours on average per day and said, "The fewer the words, the better the prayer."

Short Prayers of the Bible

* The publican’s prayer: “God be merciful to me a sinner!” (Luke 18:13)

* The Syrophoenician woman’s (a personal favorite): “Lord help me!” (Mt. 15:25)

* The prayer of the thief on the cross: “Lord, remember me when Thou comest into Thy Kingdom!”

* Peter’s prayer: “Lord, save me!” (Mt. 14:30)

* Mary’s prayer: “I am the Lord’s servant… May it be to me as you have said.” (Lk. 1:38)

* Jesus’ prayer: “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” (Lk. 22:42)

*Stephen’s prayer: “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” (Acts 7:60)

* David’s prayer: “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight” (Ps. 19:14)

*Praise prayers like Eve’s, who prayed after she delivered Cain: “With the help of the LORD, I have brought forth a man.”

From this previous post:

~Specific time in prayer is as vital to the Christian as breath to any living being! We of course, can pray anytime, anywhere, but when we get into a habit of "praying on the go", we convey the message that "I just don't have the time to get alone with you, God." Someone recently challenged me to even posture myself in prayer (kneeling). This again is something that I already knew, but did not always do. I can tell you it makes a big difference to posture yourself in prayer and leave the distractions behind. Ephesians 3:14 says that "I bow my knees before The Father." Philippians 2:10 says that "at the name of Jesus, every knee shall bow," so why not do it here on earth in our daily routine? I confess, there are days when prayer-time at the kitchen sink, in the car & in the shower is what happens, but I do cherish those days when daily distractions are stripped away, and it's just me and God, no dirty dishes or otherwise.
Something that we often pray is, "God, we want to know you more..." and that is good, because we do, but is very humbling and vulnerable to pray, "God, I want you to know me." Allowing God to shine His search light into the hidden crevices of our minds and hearts is as freeing as it is humbling. None of us, if honest with ourselves, would want the tape of our every thought played over a screen for all the world to see, but that will happen one day, and it would be much better to have an audience of One see it all now than everyone on judgment day. Pray daily for God to show you what you cannot see. You don't know what you don't know.
A tip to keep ourselves in healthy prayer is this acronym I came across: ACTS(S)
A-Adoration- Start prayer time with adoring God for WHO He is, not what He has done. In this time, we can pray to each person of the Trinity and adore Him for His holiness, love, justice, kindness, faithfulness, mercy & grace...
C-Confession- Be honest before God...He knows it all anyway. "God, I confess, I have not been consistent with my children, I have not shared your love with anyone this week...." etc.
T- Thanksgiving- Thanking God for all that He has done and will do. (this is different than adoration!)
S- Supplication- needs, requests
S-Silence- allowing the Holy Spirit to speak, guide, reveal etc.
I have found that this helps me to look past myself and my own little world to what is truly important in prayer.

Religion VS Jesus

Courageous Fathers

I cannot express how excited I am about this new generation of children, seeing men of God stand up to storm the gates of hell for their families. Men who cry unashamed at the deep love and commitment they have for Christ, their wives and children. Men who choose to do the hard work of being accountable to other godly men, not hold back on anything because they may "look bad" to their peers. Men who seek God in prayer, the Word and daily worship faithfully because they know they will learn God's ways and be held to a high standard of judgment on how they led their homes. Men who humbly ask for forgiveness at home when they know they've done wrong. Men who go public with the gospel on the job and live out the gospel at home. Men who put their desires aside and show Christ by serving with love- their wives, their children, their church and their communities....This is the generation of men who are warriors on the front-lines, standing unafraid. It is not enough to wait for satan's attacks, but to be proactive, purposeful and taking up the fight, choosing to engage. If you have not already heard of "Courageous", watch the clip below and get your own copy. (in stores the 17th).

We were made to be courageous
We were made to lead the way
We could be the generation
That finally breaks the chains
We were made to be courageous
We were made to be courageous

We were warriors on the front lines
Standing, unafraid
But now we're watchers on the sidelines
While our families slip away

Where are you, men of courage?
You were made for so much more
Let the pounding of our hearts cry
We will serve the Lord

We were made to be courageous
And we're taking back the fight
We were made to be courageous
And it starts with us tonight

The only way we'll ever stand
Is on our knees with lifted hands
Make us courageous
Lord, make us courageous

This is our resolution
Our answer to the call
We will love our wives and children
We refuse to let them fall

We will reignite the passion
That we buried deep inside
May the watchers become warriors
Let the men of God arise

We were made to be courageous
And we're taking back the fight
We were made to be courageous
And it starts with us tonight

The only way we'll ever stand
Is on our knees with lifted hands
Make us courageous
Lord, make us courageous

Seek justice
Love mercy
Walk humbly with your God

In the war of the mind
I will make my stand
In the battle of the heart
And the battle of the hand

In the war of the mind
I will make my stand
In the battle of the heart
And the battle of the hand

We were made to be courageous
And we're taking back the fight
We were made to be courageous
And it starts with us tonight

The only way we'll ever stand
Is on our knees with lifted hands
Make us courageous
Lord, make us courageous

We were made to be courageous
Lord, make us courageous

My Year-End Thoughts

This year has been an incredible year of change, growth & new determination to walk the path God has set before me. Let me share a few things that come to mind:
I have learned to do all, not to my credit, but for the glory of my Lord.
To joyfully submit to my husband and recognize him as my God-given leader.
I am learning to be patient with my children and see them as the treasures God sees them as. They are so teachable at their ages, so now is the time to be teaching them scripture and lessons from God's Word.
I have a renewed love for the God of the Word and how He uses the words on the page to cut to my heart and show me my sin.
I am learning to draw the circle around myself & see where I can change and grow rather than point the finger to others around me. I am learning to take responsibility for my own thoughts & actions, and "take every thought captive" as the enemy tries to get a foothold into my life. (2 Corinithians 10:4-6)
I am learning to appreciate the separate parts of the Trinity, and thank each of them for their work in my life.
I have realized that "looking for my purpose" should not be looking for a monumental thing, but to daily walk in the purpose I have already been given. My purpose is to glorify God in all that I do.
I am learning to see others as God sees them. I am learning to live in reverence to God rather than fear of man. I am being accountable to others in areas of my life that I struggle. It is not easy to "confess your faults to another". It is humbling and vulnerable, but it is healing and freeing.(James 5:16)
I don't claim to have arrived. I am not perfect.(Philippians 3:12) I am just a daughter of my Father & He delights in me (Psalm 18:19). He has called me by name(Isaiah 43:1). He has plans for my future(Jeremiah 29:11). He will be faithful to finish the work He has started in me(Phillipians 1:6).
I owe everything to Him, not that I can earn His favor, but that I walk out the plan He has set for me. He is worthy to be worshiped with our every-day lives.

Happy Birthday, Jesus!!!

Spent an amazing Christmas morning in worship to Jesus. I feel overwhelmed this Christmas, that God became flesh knowing He was headed for the cross, all so that we could receive the gift of forgiveness that we do not deserve. One songwriter wrote, "How can I keep from singing Your praise!?" We are entitled to nothing. We deserve hell. But God, (2 of the most beautiful words in the Bible) chooses to see a spotless Lamb when He looks at a born-again child. All glory & worship to the King of Kings, my Lord & Savior.

It's all about YOU, Jesus!

Plank's Live Nativity

And she brought forth her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn...
And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told unto them...
For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given;
and the government shall be upon his shoulder,
and his name shall be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
All glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men!

Do You Have Room?

GORGEOUS new Christmas song:

Flashback

Andy & sat in wonder at how just one year has made a huge difference in our babies!!! We are excited about our Christmas project for this year to make Jesus' birth come alive to our toddlers. This video was last year's attempt at doing that. Awwwww! :)

The Next Time He Comes

Lately as I've been thinking about Jesus' birth, I began to get a glimpse of how His return is going to be so much different than His lowly, unnoticed, delivery into this world. When Christ comes to earth again, it will be triumphant and unmatched by any even we have ever heard of. What a glorious picture these words from Revelation describe! It will not be the picture of a helpless infant, but of a victorious, conquering, King of majesty with fire in His eyes....better to just read it for yourselves-
Revelations 1:4-8, 12-18
" Grace to you and peace from him who is and who was and who is to come, and from the seven spirits who are before his throne, and from Jesus Christ the faithful witness, the firstborn of the dead, and the ruler of kings on earth. To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood and made us a kingdom, priests to his God and Father, to him be glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. Behold, he is coming with the clouds, and every eye will see him, even those who pierced him, and all tribes of the earth will wail on account of him. Even so. Amen. "I am the Alpha and the Omega," says the Lord God, "who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty. Then I turned to see the voice that was speaking to me, and on turning I saw seven golden lampstands, and in the midst of the lampstands one like a son of man, clothed with a long robe and with a golden sash around his chest. The hairs of his head were white, like white wool, like snow. His eyes were like a flame of fire, his feet were like burnished bronze, refined in a furnace, and his voice was like the roar of many waters. In his right hand he held seven stars, from his mouth came a sharp two-edged sword, and his face was like the sun shining in full strength. When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. But he laid his right hand on me, saying, "Fear not, I am the first and the last, and the living one. I died, and behold I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of Death and Hades.

Finally Home!

I have fond memories of my grandfather (Elwood Forney), pulling me onto his lap as a child and together we'd sing, "He's still working on me", and of the fancy bicycles he bought me over the years, of the way he always kept his car spotless and shiny, and of the pet name he called me- "tootle-lump". I was the only granddaughter.

At 88 year old, Papa passed away this evening, and I know he was so excited to go and see Jesus & grandma. Although it's hard to feel the loss of a loved one, it's joyous to know I will see them again someday in Heaven. I can only image what we will do when finally get to see Jesus...Sometimes I just can't wait for that day!!!

Journey

I, along with my family, am sitting with my grandfather and rejoicing with him as he walks the last lap of his race in this life. He is so excited to get to Heaven, that it's hard to see this as a sad time. Knowing how much he wants to just step on those glorious shores, reminded me yesterday how victorious this journey with Jesus is. What peace knowing there is nothing to fear!