WARNING: personal admission to follow-
A friend just text me about a very difficult circumstance in her life. When she mentioned the words, "I'm just so tired of fighting to get ahead and fighting for everything I've got", it felt like instant deja vu to a conversation I had with my pastor some time ago. I was telling him that I was "so sick of striving." He said, "Well then stop. Stop striving. Stop fighting. Rest. Ask God to do the work that you feel so driven to do & then take your hands off and see what happens." I can tell you with tears in my eyes, that I did not take that wisdom well. It is not easy to be told to step away from something you feel the need to control. Little did I know that nothing, and I mean nothing would improve until I followed that simply yet profound advice. James MacDonald recently posted: "Until Christ reigns without rival on the throne of your heart, you are an accident waiting to happen." Boy is that true. Certainly in my own life, at least. I have no idea how many people I have pushed away, hurt, or confused by my inability to see myself as I should have. I have tried to mend bridges I believed were burnt. Many situations have moved on with or without me. This has to be ok. When we grapple for control, the most loving thing God can do is take away the object of your idolatry. For a while, I thought this as cruel. Why would my Jesus stomp on my passions? Now I can see more clearly. Jesus wants to guide my life. Left alone, I will make a mess of things, even if it doesn't seem like it for a while. Another dear friend told me that "in the surrender is where Christ gets to flex His muscles." I love that. I will admit I don't really "get" grace. It's easier to strive, fight and work. But Jesus says Rest. Hands off. Lay it down. I hope this is helpful to someone in over your head today. Blessings.
